HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM – 8 YEARS ON

It’s been almost 8 years since my mum passed away. 

It's her birthday today and she would have turned 62 and it still seems so young and I guess it is, and I still see her as the 54 year old.  The above photo was the last time that I saw my mum and it's still how I picture her in my mind.  It still feels like last week when the police came to my work place in Brisbane to tell me that my mum had died. 

It was my birthday, the 27^th of November, 2008. 

My whole world changed at that point and I don’t think I realized just how much it would in the ensuring years.   

A lot has happened in the last 8 years. 

A LOT and none of it would have happened without my mum.  She worked hard all her life as a single mother to make sure I had everything I needed, I never went without anything.  I had a great childhood-with amazing memories and I could not have asked for a more caring, if not sometimes possessive mother.  But then, aren’t they all.  My mum was my BIGGEST supporter.  She worked 3 jobs when I was younger to put me through private schooling and I didn’t want for a thing when I was a child.  She taught me the value of a dollar and gave me unconditional love.  I have been lucky enough to have travelled this magnificent world of ours, seen and been to all 7 continents, got divorced, got inked (eleven times), found and lost love a few times, moved to the African country of Kenya, found love and remarried, got a job and all of this is thanks to my mum.  I tell people, it is very sad to lose someone you love and a parent to boot, unexpectantly; it is a lot to take in and I hope I don’t sound callous, but death is a fact of life.  It happens to us all eventually, and for me, to do something worthwhile with and in my life was what I could do to hopefully make my mum proud and also make my life count while I am on this planet. 

At the time, there is nothing good that comes from the passing of a loved one.  But that is the Wheel of Life.  All things must come to an end and that includes the loss of people you love.  It is how we pick ourselves up and what we do with our own lives that will honour the memory of them.  My mum wanted to travel.  Canada was always in her sights and for all sorts of reasons just kept putting it off saying ‘she would do it next year’.  I think about her every day and what would she be thinking about my life and where it is heading and I hope that she is proud.  I would not of had the opportunity to do this amazing journey without her, I would not be living in Africa if not for her, I would not be given a chance to give back to a world that has looked after me the last 6 years of my travelling life and settling in Kenya and I hope that ALL that combined has made ME a better person and I know that it has changed my outlook on life.  I want to continue to be a better person and to be able to help others in some form whatever that maybe and then my mums legacy lives on through me.  It’s a nice thought isn’t it.

My Mum was an amazing woman. 

She was a character.  Once she put her mind to something she was determined and resolute.  This is what made her a great sports woman, a committed work college and my greatest council in life.  People have told me Mum always saw me as her greatest achievement and like a lioness would have protected me to the death.  She was very proud of me and my achievements.

My mum was an amazing woman.

She worked hard all her life to make sure I had every opportunity, from private schooling to overseas representative sporting duties.  I never missed out on anything.  To me Mum is Darwin and Darwin is Mum. Even though Newcastle has always been home, she could never, after much talk ever leave the Territory.  My fondest memories include hearing Elton John, Barbara Streisand and Billy Joel always playing at home as a child.  Mum had an infinity for all things gold and sparkly. She would scrimp and save to get that dazzling bauble from Angus and Coote and I am sure she was their best customer.  I can clearly blame my own love of jewellery squarely on her shoulders to which I am sure she is proud of.

My mum was an amazing woman. 

I remember her love of walking. Whether it be walking into town to work or around the Nightcliff waterfront, she would be pounding the pavement, head down bum up listening to those same songs I recorded for her 10 years previously.  .....and yes that would still be Elton, Babs and Billy. Her taste in music never wavered.  I may not have spoken to my mum every day or every week, but I always knew she would be there and I could pick up that phone and be able to hear her voice.  She will always be my mum.  I take comfort that she and Grand-dad are now together in Heaven and she will never be alone.  I miss you and I will always love you with all my heart.

There is not a day that I don’t think about her and everything that she has done for me.  Even now, she has given me the courage and opportunity to think outside my square, she gave me the amazing opportunity to travel the world and I have found love again in Kenya.  I have an exciting new life ahead of me and none of this would have ever been achieved without her.  Like in life and in death she has continued to look after me and for this I am forever grateful.  I just hope that I am doing her proud and I will continue to live each day to its full in memory of her and make the most of all the opportunities that come my way. 

For you mum. 

I LOVE you.

You can shed tears that she is gone 
or you can smile because she has lived. 

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back 
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left. 

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her 
or you can be full of the love you shared. 

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday 
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. 

You can remember her and only that she’s gone 
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. 

You can cry and close your mind, 
be empty and turn your back 
or you can do what she’d want: 
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

You don’t know how much time you have left so you need to make every second count.

The beauty about the future is it hasn’t happened yet and it is a blank canvas to do with what you want. 

MAKE IT COUNT and happy birthday Mum.