I LOVE this country, but there are times when something
happens and it just really knocks you for a six. I used to be one of those people that said
TIA (this is Africa), but I feel that is just a crutch that Africa relies on at
times when things don’t work like you expect, tea money is required, poor
workmanship, laziness, lateness, over pricing for white people and anything
else that you want to blame on that term.
But today, I was rocked to my core and even now 5 hours
later, I am still in a state of shock I think, and left wondering what is my
goal, not only for the prison women, but my time here in Kenya, actually is. Oh yes people it was a life changing thing
that happened today.
I had an unscheduled visit to the prison today. We normally go on the first Monday of each
month, but I had a few items for the women, mostly sent from family members in
South Africa, so I decided to do a special run out there so that they didn’t
have to wait another month to get the items.
There had also been talk of a raid of the women’s cells last week after
our visit and all the supplies we had left them were taken and their toilet
paper was shredded leaving the 5 women with nothing of the monthly care
packages we had given them. Not only is
it frustrating for us, but just imagine how much more of an impact it has on
the women in the prison. No toothpaste,
no toilet paper and no soap for 4 weeks.
So with the monies from South Africa I had to deliver, I decided to take
another round of toilet paper at least for them, two rolls each and because it
was a week day, my husband Eric came along for the ride for the first
time. I have visited the prison once
before on my own and besides the usual hoops you have to jump through, it was an
okay experience and I felt like I knew the system well enough that I would be
ok. We have about 15 visits up our
sleeves, so they are nothing new and we thought we had pretty much see it all
in those visits as each one is entirely different from the other. We had met most of the staff, as they are
rotated quite often these days due to security and I certainly would not have
guessed EVER what expired today, would happen and even though it may not look
like a maximum security prison from the outside and also the inside compounds,
it felt like it today.
So after our last visit, the prison had been in lock down
and we were not permitted to drive into the jail. It is nothing new being told this, but last
week was the first time ever it had been enforced which proved to us that it
was serious, that they weren’t joking and that is was a serious situation that
we found ourselves in. So this trip I
was just going to drive up to the gate and if they let us in great, if not,
then we knew we would have to park the car.
So I drove up to the main entrance and after a few minutes an armed
prison guard came to my window. I had my
license at the ready and the names of the girls on a piece of paper, which I
also handed over. They were taken and briefly
looked over and the guard asked me ‘if I come often’ and I said ‘yes’ and we
were waved through. Just like that. I checked if I needed to sign in or anything
and he said no and we drove through without any problems and I said to Eric
that has to be the easiest entry I have ever had. Famous last words and little did I know what
was still to come.
I parked the car, and while Eric stayed inside, I got out
and walked up to the remand window and gave over the piece of paper with the
girls names on it and asked to see the South African group of ladies. I was told to wait and that she would go and get
them. I waited for about 15 minutes and
she came back and said they were on their way.
Elize even popped her head in and said ‘it’s Bernie, let me go and get
the others’. So I waited another 10
minutes when I heard someone behind me call ‘madam’. I turned around and a male security guard asked
who owned the green car? I said I don’t
know, mine is the blue car over there.
He then told me I was not permitted to drive into the prison. I was a little shocked as I was IN the prison
already. I replied back that I was happy
to move the car back outside but maybe he needs to let his gate staff know not
to let me in. I said it wasn’t like I
barged my way into the compound, they LET ME IN. We were then joined by a security lady from
last week who was not so nice to us and she started to lay into me. Telling me I was told last week I was not
allowed to drive in, I agreed, but that was LAST WEEK, and again reiterated
that THEY LET ME IN TODAY. She wasn’t
having a bar of it and like a bull to a red flag, she yelled at me and I yelled
back, I did say an expletive, and then told them I was more than happy to move
the car and I would be back. Listen, I
have been respectful EVERY single time we visit the prison, even when they make
us wait for 3 hours, even when we went and we weren’t allowed to see the girls,
even when we only get to see them for 7 minutes each visit, even when one month
we can bring body lotion and the next we can’t.
We respect the rules and would love to abide by them if they didn’t
change every trip. But when you point a
finger at me, with attitude, telling me I shouldn’t be parked in the compound,
WHEN YOU LET ME IN and that I know the rules, this little black duck lost it,
which in turn didn’t help the situation, but it just came out.
So I drove out of the complex, parked in the visitor
parking with Eric now deciding to stay in the car (which I didn’t blame him as was
now on a mission) and I walked to the main gates office and handed over my
driver’s license and a new piece of paper with the girls name on it again. It was taken from me and put on the table and
left there. I watched 3 other people
check in and let through the front gate before I asked why we were
waiting. The reply came back that Madam
told us that you have to wait. Ahhhhhh
we were playing my dick is bigger than your dick game. I actually knew it was going to happen, but I
was stuffed if I was going to let them deter me from my visit. So I waited for 45 minutes, when I was told
to take a seat in the visitor’s shelter until I was called. At this point I thought it was game, set,
match and I walked back to the car and updated Eric what was happening. At this point I pulled out my phone to call
Madam O (who is the Duty Officer of the prison) to get some clarification. If I wasn’t going to be allowed in, I didn’t
want to wait 2 hours to be told that (power play in Kenya is a serious game) as
visiting hours finish at 12 noon and didn’t open again till 2pm. Needless to say that Madam O’s phone rang
out, FOUR times. I had a feeling that I
knew where this was going, they would make us wait until 12 and then say they
were closed until 2pm. So I was shocked,
when at 12 noon I was called back to the main window finally, where my address
was taken, the names of the girls, again, and my ID recorded. I was then permitted to enter for the second
time, this time on foot. Usually I tuck
my phone in my bra, as they are not permitted on the prison grounds, but after
all the fuss to date, I didn’t want to get caught with a banned item, so I left
this with Eric and I was escorted down to the remand centre.
I was told to wait in the visitor’s shelter there, which
is a small concrete room with open windows, while the girls were called,
again. I didn’t have to wait long when
my chaperone guard came back and told me that I was not allowed to see them
today. AFTER EVERYTHING WE WENT THROUGH. I was very polite, as these guards were just
the messengers, but I asked why and she just shrugged her shoulders. I asked if Madam O was on the premises to be
told no. I asked if I could speak to the
remand Duty Office to be told she was not on the premises either and then they
tried to tell me the girls weren’t there when I had seen Elise with my own
eyes. What are they out shopping or out
at a show? Come on. So knowing I wouldn’t see the girls I asked
for the two guard’s names, as I was going to write an email on the disgusting
treatment I had been privy to today, and wanted some names of the people who
had been dealing with me. You should
have seen their faces, a quick look of panic and then they refused to give me
their names. I was then joined by the nasty
lady guard and I asked her name and she said that she would not give it to me
and one of the two male guards that came over was the only one who actually had
a name tag on, and he covered it with his hand saying no. If you don’t want to give me your names it
must be a sign of guilt if they think they are not in the wrong. So after clarifying that it was a definite no
to seeing the girls, I was so livid that I told them all there would be an
email sent with ALL of them mentioned, saying they can check the roster to find
out the staff on duty, I stormed off back to the front gate, still with my 10
toilet rolls and money in hand.
As I was walking the 500m back, I heard footsteps behind
me, and someone yelling in Swahili to this person, who then started running to
overtake me before I had reached the front gate, so I knew that it had
something to do with me. I asked for my
book that I had taken from my car to read while I waited and was not allowed to
take in, and then I went to the gate to be let out. This is a gate that I have never seen
locked. It has a padlock on it and the
bolt has never been latched, until now.
A guard stood in front of me, bolted the latch and told me that I was to
wait. I asked him if he could please
open the gate as I wanted to leave and I was told no. I said that you cannot keep someone here
against their will and he just turned his back and stood in front of the
latch. There were people still coming
and going at this point and they were using the car entry, as they must have
thought I would have made a run for it should the side gate have opened. I am not sure if I would have done that to be
honest, but I wasn’t given the option anyway.
I must have asked about seven times to please let me out and I even
asked what I was waiting for, as it was quite clear in the remand carpark that
I was told to leave in no uncertain terms.
Finally I saw a group of 4 guards walking up to the front gate, which I
knew it was for me, and my panic subsided a little. As I looked out the gate to where Eric was
waiting for me I wondered if he would have been able to hear me, should I have had
the need to call out to him for help.
So the big wigs appeared, no explanation to me, but I
could see that they were looking for a room for us to talk in. I was then called into the kinyozi (barber
shop), which was a small room 4mx4m and seated me on a wooden bench, with a
guard standing at the door, a male guard either side of what turned out to be
the Duty Officer of the whole compound (not Madam O and someone I had never
seen before) and another female officer.
I was asked what visa I was on in the country (which I thought strange),
my full name, my nationality and then I was asked to tell my version of today’s
events, uninterrupted. I was cordial,
polite and respectful (as only you could be with 4 armed people in the room). I said respectfully, that every time I come there
is a different procedure which can make the visit frustrating, and it shouldn’t
be up to me to tell her staff what I am and am not allowed to do. The DO launched into her spiel, which again I
was respectful, I listened as it went from security measures, to ISIS and Al
Shabab, what the actual procedures are and also highlighting that you need to
be careful when emotions get the best of us in this type of environment, as they
can be misinterpreted and the guards are armed and also have tasers, that
accidents could happen to visitors in a prison compound. All this was said with everyone in the room,
as a witness. It was a threat, gently
coated in arsenic and words laced in a way to not be perceived as a threat. I understood loud and clear where she was
going with it and THAT is what scared me.
I was even asked to apologize to the nasty lady guard, which I said I
was more than happy to apologize, IF she apologized to me. The DO said that will never happen, but by
the end of the ‘meeting’ she actually apologized on behalf of her staff, which
I in turn apologized for my angry words.
She admitted that they were in the wrong by letting me through the front
gate in the first instance which in turn this whole thing escalated to what it
did. I was then told that I would not be
permitted to see the girls. I said that
was fine, I just wanted to get out of there at this point. I then asked for permission to leave, it was
granted, and even as I got to the gate he waited for the DO to come out and
give the nod before the gate was finally opened for me. I walked out of there with my head held high
until I just about reached the car and then I just burst into tears. I was NOT going to let those FUCKERS see any
tears or weakness from me.
I truly believe that the mention of writing an email got
them scattering and then making me wait, to have the talk with me, I guess was to
suss me out, though it never came up in our discussions. I did ask like 10 times to talk to someone
during the course of this whole mess and only when I say I’m going to write an
email, did they sit up and take notice.
I had no idea it would have had that effect, really. Getting Eric’s take on the whole situation,
he seems to think that if some ‘tea money’ was handed to the right people, then
I may not have had this issue. Firstly
we have NEVER paid any money to see the women, but all the people there today
were new faces. It is a hard to shake
the impressions of a ‘white person’.
They think that all wazungus have money and honestly there is also left
over loathing of colonialism from 50 years ago, a power play was on and I
didn’t have a leg to stand on. They held
all the cards and they played them all beautifully backing me into a corner and
not once did it occur to me to give tea money, and if I did, who would get
it. I would have dealt with and been
watched by at least 15 guards today, and I would have refused to pay people for
doing their jobs, which is an epidemic here in any profession anyways, which is
frustrating at times, but the done thing here on all fronts.
I didn’t recognize a single face and in the prisons
defense we have met some lovely guards that have helped in our 6 months of
visits to date. But today, for whatever
reason it turned ugly, so much so that I felt that my personal safety was
threatened, words or not, do I feel like I can return to the prison with the DO’s
words still fresh in my mind “things can be misinterpreted and accidents can
happen to visitors when they visit’? She
even turned to both male guards and asked if they had their tasers on them as
if to prove a point, with their guns slung over their other shoulder. Oh yes, I get the underlying threat loud and
clear. Eric was then telling me stories
of past incidences, people being set up, work colleagues all banding together
when needed/required and you just never know what you will walk into next time I
was to visit, if I decide that is what I will do.
The biggest loser is of all this is of course the
girls. I need to now evaluate whether it
is worth my personal safety to help these women who desperately need it. Do I let the prison system bully me so much
that I don’t go back, or do I go back
with more support/backup and give them the silent bird that they will not scare
me and deny the girls their given right to humanitarian needs. I honestly don’t know. I was and still am pretty shook up. I have still been crying as I regroup. It has really shaken me. This is the same place that we have taken biscuits
for the remand staff and donations, food and clothing to the prison
kindergarten. Add in to the mix the
women who may no longer get a visit and care packages, there is a lot more at
stake than my life being threatened. I
think the most upsetting thing for me is not having been in that type of
situation before. This generally would
not happen in the western world, being threatened in a veiled type of way and
being denied to leave premises, no matter how long or short that time was and
it was a little scary. I am a bit of a
tough duck most of the time but this threw me for a six and to be honest I
think I am in a state of shock.
Tomorrow is a new
day, I know I will be fine, but what a day, what a way to be treated when all
you want to do is give a little hope and helping hand to people, to give TOILET
PAPER for goodness sakes. Will I write my said email? I'm not sure.
I was adamant I was going
to but will it be at the expense of the women inside, just to have the final
say? Eric found a Facebook page called Kenya Prisons Public Relations which
I am sure would be a good place to start, but I am not sure I want to open that
can of worms for myself and also for the South African women. I just hope
some of the parties involved lost a bit of sleep last night not knowing what my next move will
be.....
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