OUR PRISON VISITS SEEM TO BE GETTING HARDER-NOT EASIER

A few weeks ago we attempted to see the girls, as we normally do.  There was the usual staff on, who we are getting to know by name, and we were waved through the front gate, leaving my drivers license with the gate security.  It seemed just like any normal visit.  We went to the window, checked in and then we were told to wait.  And wait, and wait.  We were told to take a seat out the front of the hairdressers, which is in a small building 5m away from the remand centre iron door.  After waiting for AN HOUR, I went back to the barred window, nice as pie, and checked that they hadn’t forgotten us, not that they could miss 3 white people sitting on a long bench seat, but we were told that the Madam was busy and asked us to be a little more patient.  We had a view of the fenced backyard where we could see the women washing their own clothes with buckets and long bars of soap, and there seemed to be an air of companionship want for a better word.  I am sure the reality of it is not as rosy as we would like to believe and I am sure it was just something as simple as being happy enough of just being outside.  We saw Ms T, and were chatting to her through the fence until she got into trouble and was asked to move along and not chat to us.  We ended up waiting TWO AND A HALF HOURS and as we started to talk about putting a time deadline, asking to see Ms O the KING PIN, the duty Madam came out and said that they were very busy and that we would not be able to see the girls!  UM WHAT!  It then changed that we would not be permitted to see them in the room as per the ‘normal’ way and that we could have a few minutes with them through the window.  So the 4 women were bought into the small room and we got exactly SEVEN minutes with the 4 of them.  They were not in the best of spirits and with the window so small, and 3 of us and 4 of them, there really is only so much one can say in that amount of time.  But you know what, we respected the system, it could have been worse and we could not have seen them at all, and with waves we told them we would be back.  It was pretty crappy, but one cannot push the system too far, especially one we know nothing about.

Without seeming to blase about our visits we have finally got into a routine, we have told the girls that we will be coming the first Monday of each month, the families also know, so if they have letters they want us to pass on, then they also know when we are going.  It was the first Monday that we had scheduled and we were hoping for a better outcome than the previous visit.  It’s crappy to drive for 3 hours on a round trip, wait for over 2 hours to only get 7 minutes with the girls.  It’s crappy for us and crappy for them.  Surely this visit cannot be any worse than that.  Right?  Wrong.

As usual I just drive straight up to the gate these days.  There is another woman who is a friend of the Belgian guy who found these women, who lives a lot closer to the prison than us, and she goes and visits the women more often and not even she is allowed to drive onto the prison grounds or see the girls as a group, so it seems we are given some small privileges it seems.  I had my license at the ready and we were pretty much immediately waved through this time, so maybe, just maybe, we were finally getting accepted with our visits.  We parked the car in the usual spot, out the front of the childcare centre and this is where the familiarity stopped.  We saw our favourite Madam G and she was all smiles and said hi, and then she disappeared and Madam A, who we have also been treated nicely from her on previous visits suddenly wasn’t so nice today.  Who knows why, but she was very abrupt, she said that girls weren’t ready, we were asked for a letter, which we have no idea on what letter they are talking about, and it seemed that this visit was not going to be as smooth as we thought. 

After about 20 minutes the girls came in and they were looking a little better than last time barr Ms P, she had caught malaria the previous week and hadn’t fully recovered.  We had our monthly care packages of soap, shampoo, a bar of chocolate, a deodorant, non scented body lotion and a small packet of biscuits.  We also had photos printed for Ms T.  It was nothing different from all of our last care packages , but today, there was a problem.  We told Madam A that all these things had been approved on our very first visit with Madam O and Ms J had a small notebook where Madam O had ticked and crossed the approved items.  This didn’t seem to matter and the photos also seemed to be an issue and then Ms T told us that she didn’t get the last lot of photos, so we asked Madam A why, our male guard Mr J also came over and we asked him why as he was the last ones to have them and he said that he gave them to Madam O, so she must still have them.  We were patient, we told all the staff and also the girls that we only wanted to buy and bring things that were permitted.  We didn’t want to be pushing boundaries and bring prohibited things.  We were spending our own money and it was frustrating that some weeks certain things were allowed and then other weeks the same things were not.  So not to name drop, but we said it was probably best that we saw Madam O, the big kahuna, and get this all sorted out once and for all and see EXACTLY what can and can’t be bought.  We don’t want to waste their time and our money having the same issues each visit.  The girls were at the window and we had their care packages, so we said we would return after we saw Madam O and sorted all this out.  It was going to be crappy as the girls had seen what we had and then if they weren’t allowed to have it when we came back!

You can’t rush madam O and we took a seat in the outer office as we waited for our turn.  There were 2 other people in front of us and after a small conversation with them both, they had been waiting since 8am!  It was now 11am!!!!!!!  We must have been lucky as Madam O saw the 2 of them in the next 40 minutes and after an hour we were buzzed into Madam O office.  She has always been quite nice with us and when we told her our frustrations on this trip and the 2 hour wait last trip, she made a call on a walkie talkie to get 2 staff from the remand centre so that we could all discuss it and be on the same page.  It was good that she was taking it seriously and that we would get it sorted today.  It happened that Madam A was summoned with another madam we hadn’t met before and it was bittersweet when Madam A was told that we shouldn’t be left waiting for over 2 hours from our last visit, if we can’t see them to tell us straight away and then we went through the list once AGAIN with Madam O and this is where Madam A would have had an internal smile.  We are not allowed to bring the girls food, in any form.  There is a shop that they have access to where they can buy fruit, samosa and other things and chocolate and biscuits can also be purchased there.  As for the shampoo, lotion and the sorts, it will be kept in a locked locker and the girls can ask for a ‘squirt’ of shampoo as needed, they were not allowed to have the whole bottle in their possession.  It was a comprise to the smallest degree, but knowing that their stocks of these things would not run out after a month, what would spend on these items we will now just deposit into their shop account and then they can buy what they need as they saw fit.  Toilet paper and sanitary napkins are allowed and there were no issues with those items. 

On our return from madam O, it was like we had the golden ticket and the remand door opened and we were permitted to enter, no identification was asked, I had my mobile phone in my hand and we were shown into an office that faced the internal courtyard and were able to see the girls properly.  It is good here, as we are given the freedom to talk without feeling like we are being listened to, even though there is always 2 Madam in the office when we are there.  Our time was limited, we got about 15 minutes before we were told we had to leave, as the staff that were keeping an eye on us had other duties to do.  So with our first hugs to the girls in over 7 weeks, with tears in their eyes and our promise of seeing them in 4 weeks we left there feeling a lot better in regards to finally getting the system.  Knowing what we can and can’t do and if we don’t like something or don’t agree we are more than happy to see madam O to get things cleared up.  Ms T got her photos of her kids approved, I think we have a little more respect from Madam A and what started as a possibly bad and frustrating trip turned into a very productive trip.  Getting some contact with the girls and getting on the same page with the remand staff.  It was actually interesting, our favourite madam, madam G, ran into Ms J in the car park at one point and she pulled Ms J aside and apologized for the other staff giving us a hard time.  It was really sweet and it was nice to know that we do have some-one on our side and to know that it wasn’t just us being Mzungu was nice.  So hopefully our future visits will run more smoothly.  We knew from our first visit that things would not be the same, but each trip has just been more and more painful, there is no consistency, which is the most frustrating thing for us, even at the front gate is different each time, but I think we are all now on the same page and only our next trip will determine just how successful this trip was.