Wednesday, December 4, 2013

REUNITED WITH THE BABIES AFTER 2 WEEKS

Thursday 23rd May and Friday 24th 2013

So I’ve been away from The Nest for the last 2 weeks as I had travelled to London to see friends, use up an airline ticket that was due to expire and I also ended up getting 2 visas for my West Africa trip at the end of the year.  It was a great trip, but it was also nice to be back home and today was my first visit back to the orphanage and I couldn’t wait to see all the happy smiling faces of the babies.

When I arrived at The Nest at 12 noon, the babies were waking up and being bought up to the big shady tree out the front of the nursery room.  There were already some mzungu’s feeding some of the kiddies and I felt a little protective that there were other white people holding my babies….. which is crazy as we need all the help we can get and I KNOW that at the end of the week, the month and then the year, I am the one that will STILL be there and there will still be mzungu’s who come and go and it gave me a little insight into how the house mothers feel when mzungu’s do blow in and out from the orphanage.  They are letting people have their time with THEIR babies, knowing that they won’t be there next week or next month and I wouldn’t want to spend my time or energy in training people who aren’t going to be staying long term either.  Yes-I got an insight into their world when I arrived today.  It was a great feeling when I was welcomed back with open arms and lots of smiles from the house mothers and little Rachel came straight over and gave me a big hug and stopped her crying the instant I arrived.  I remembered some of the babies names and I forgot some of the others and I felt bad about that, but I know I will pick up the names again pretty quickly as I think it is important that you call them by their names and when you sing to them to include their names as I believe it just helps with the bonding with the child.  I find the smaller babies the hardest to remember as they are all so small and I hate to say look a little similar when they are not all together-but I am determined to get all their names right-it just might take me a little while to get right. 

I could see the mzungu’s looking at me as I played and talked to the kids and I felt good that I knew the routine, the kid’s names and the recognition of the house mothers as well.  I spoke to one of the mzungu’s, Constance, and she was feeding Bakita, who was only 3 weeks old and bought to the orphanage 2 days after she was born.  Constance and her husband have just been approved by the courts to adopt a baby, and from The Nest, and it looks like Bakita will be the lucky little angel.  The biological mother approved Bakita for adoption but she has a 6 week window to change her mind before the papers will be signed and Bakita given a new home.  Constance is German and lives 4 hours from Nairobi, so now knowing her and her husband are approved and the baby named, it will be a long six weeks for them as they sit tight and wait for the outcome.  Constance said she will try and come a few times a week to bond with Bakita and after seeing The Nest she is happy that Bakita is being well cared for and in a nice environment as they have looked at a few other orphanages and they said they were not as nice as this one.  So I will keep you updated on the progress of Baby Bakita.

Once all the babies, well the older ones were awake I noticed that 2 babies were missing.  My special little guy William and also the super cute PK.  When I enquired on where they were I was told the great news that they had been returned to their biological parents.  William was taken back by his father and PK went back to his mother.  These are success stories, and what The Nest is all about, but a little selfishly it would have been nice to say goodbye to these two little guys as I had spent a lot of time with both of them.  I asked few of the ladies if they miss the kids when they leave and the obvious answer was yes, and just think I am only here twice a week, they are with them 11 days straight before they get 3 days off- so just imagine how much they miss them.  Baby Caro has been approved for adoption and will be leaving The Nest in a few weeks’ time and little Hannah who is pretty much a toddler will be moving to the Limuru branch of The Nest where the ‘big’ kids are located.  I am not sure how she will go there, well initially, as she doesn’t take to strangers very fast and I am still trying to work on getting a little closer to her and that is after nearly a month of coming.  I was getting there slowly, very slowly-but now it seems she will have to get used to meeting new people in her transition to a new home and new ‘house mothers/teachers/carers.  Cassie is up at Limuru each day and she saw Hannah yesterday and said that it looked like she was settling in okay.  The Nest had sent one of the house mothers from our compound for 3 days to help Hannah adapt with someone she knew which is nice that they do actually care for the welfare of the children.  With the reuniting of babies is the flip side that more babies are added to The Nest Family.  While I was gone in just 2 weeks we got 4 new babies.  A set of 4 week old girl twins Newcarbie and Wanju, a 3 week old baby girl named Bakita and 4 week old baby boy named Andy.  There seems to be more younger babies coming into our care than older ones and there are also a lot more boys than girls-I wonder if there is anything to be read into those statistics?

I met the Director of The Nest this week.  Irene is German and seems to have a very clear picture and business head on her shoulders.  It was good to introduce myself to her today and I again offered my help in the washing of the bigger items with a machine rather than hand wash and her comment was ‘thank-you and for the sake of hygiene she will take me up on the offer’.  Yes she is certainly a switched on woman and  I guess you don’t live and work in Kenya without learning a few things and I know I will be able to learn a lot from her and hopefully as time progresses she will want to include me more in the running of The Nest and know that I am there to help in any way that I can.

I spoke to a few other mzungu’s today and Cassie is from Toronto, Canada.  Her aunt and uncle moved here 1.5 years ago and her and a friend have come to Kenya for 5 weeks for a visit and volunteer their time while they are here.  Her friend Rachel was working at The Nest (older section) teaching in the onsite school whereas Cassie likes the smaller babies and has been coming to The Nest for her time.  It was nice to talk to someone and we got along really well and we will catch up again tomorrow with her coming back again.  Elsabe was the other person I met today and she is from South Africa, now living in Nairobi.  She was really cool and just lives down the road from me and when she found out that I was Australian, being a rugby fan she said we should watch the next game together when South Africa v Australia.  I had to be honest and say I don’t follow the rugby, but as a true Australian I support any team that represents my country of birth and just to meet some people ‘my’ side of town would also be great and I told her I was very keen.  No numbers were swapped today, but I will ask for Elsabe’s next week as she seemed really nice and it would be great to extend my friendship group.  I also met another South African, Kelly and she seems very keen to help out where she can and is going to try and start coming once a week.  So with Eliseba and Kelly (Cassie goes home in 2 weeks) I may just be able to make some new friends with not only the house mothers now but some mzungu’s who are living here and long termers like myself which I never had really thought about that opportunity before.  I had always considered any mzungu’s to be ‘fly by nights or weeks’ and not really getting to know them as they were going to be gone sooner rather than later.  Some people you just click with and Elsabe and Kelly are 2 of those people and I know that I will be seeing them again, whether at The Nest or somewhere else, I have just met 2 amazing people!!!    

I also met another mzungu this week who is currently living and working in Nairobi.  Eliza (name changed for privacy) wants to adopt a baby from The Nest and as a single woman you can adopt, but it must be a girl and the same goes for a single man wanting to adopt, he can, but it can only be a boy.  So when you have a female wanting to adopt a male baby you need to have a very good solicitor and have a very good case to even be in the running for the approval.  One of the adoption rules is that you can’t know the baby beforehand, everything is supposed to be randomly selected and I guess that stops people ‘picking’ babies and I guess it also tries to avoid bitter disappointment if they are not approved or not given the child that they have pinned their hopes on.  Either way, Eliza is prepare to fight the system to get custody of a baby boy and she is prepared that it is going to cost her 25,000-30,000 DOLLARS as she is having to go through the international adoption regulations rather than through a Kenyan adoption and the main reason behind that is she wants to adopt a boy.  I knew that it was an expensive to adopt and that is just not in Africa, I have heard of the same costs from people I know who have adopted 2 babies from Korea, but I know when people want a family and are incapable or just want to plainly help out the orphans you cannot put a price on that and I can guarantee that if you ask any adoptive parent about the cost, that they would say it was worth every penny.  Eliza is another person that I clicked with today and after meeting Cassie, Elsabe and Kelly, I knew that I had met some amazing people that I hoped that I would continue to be mates with in the future.  Add the new friendships I’m nurturing with the house mothers and the babies that I get to cuddle, I was on cloud nine and knew that I would go home with a smile and a little satisfaction that finally I was starting to find my place in Nairobi.  I knew I would, I knew it would take time, but it has totally been worth it based on today’s interactions.   

The other ‘event’ this week another party.  There was a French couple that were adopting 2 children from The Nest Limuru and they had been accepted as adoption parents and the children had been picked and were living with them but the final process could take up to 8 months to be finalised.  But it was great news that they had been accepted and the children approved.  It must be a great feeling for them and you just don’t know the reasoning behind people adopting kids-but if they cannot be returned to their biological parents it is a very good second chance for the children to grow up in a loving family, no matter where that is in the world.  So to celebrate the couple had bought a feast of spring rolls, curry puffs and soft drink.  As I have seen before, most of the workers went to the playroom and they sang some songs, said a prayer for the departing children and it is always an emotional time, again for me and I didn’t even know these kids.  It is just nice to see children getting out of the orphanage; no matter how nice the place is and how much love is given, to be granted a chance at a life they may not have had the luck to live given their circumstances when they are born into this world. 

When the babies sleep in the afternoon it is a chance for the house mothers to have lunch, get their hair done and there is also the never ending mountain of clothes to be folded.  There are washing ladies, where it is there job to hand wash all the nappies, clothes, blankets, bibs and sheets and they also help in the preparation of the cooked food in the outdoor kitchen that is attached to the nursery.  But the folding is a mammoth job and when most of the babies are down; we sit down on the floor on blankets and start the job of folding and sorting the clothes as they are folded.  Today all of the babies were down and all the house mothers took up a place outside, not so many to fold, but to just tale a load off and gossip and chat and laugh.  Even though I can’t understand what they are saying as they are talking in Kikuyu-it is nice to just listen to them talking, laughing and it automatically puts a smile on my face.  I really feel like I am slowly being accepted by the group which is touching and even 3 of the house mothers while we were folding 3 asked what my tattoos meant, which is lovely that they are interested in getting to know me a little better.  They do say that many hands make light work and with Kelly and Eliseba helping folding under the tree and me and a few of the HM (house mothers) helping out the front of the nursery we tackled that pile with vengeance and we got it all finished just before the first wakeup cry of the afternoon-only to come back outside 10 minutes later and another pile of nappies and clothes had been dumped-I’m telling you it really is an endless task. 

The House Mothers had a meeting in the afternoon and they took the opportunity to have that while the babies were on the back half of their afternoon sleep, leaving little Maggie, myself and 2 of the washing ladies to care for any of the babies that wake up while ALL the house mothers went for the meeting!  On her way out Maggie told me that I was in CHARGE and if I needed anything to come up and get one of them.  I told her that was a brave move as I might just pack all the babies into a car and take them all home with me!  She came back that there would be a bag search before I left in the afternoon and with us all smiling and laughing they all did return back 45 minutes later as the babies were starting to stir and a few were being fed.  I told them that they could all have an early mark as we were under control and even though we are all joking I know that they LOVE the babies and would do anything for them which is a wonderful kind of love to be able to share with people not so lucky at the start of their short lives.    

The health of the babies is always top priority and there always seems to be medicine for those who need it and if a baby isn’t well then we all know about it (informative-keeping in the loop) and beady eyes are kept on the children and temperatures checked.  This week Matthew hasn’t been well and unless you knew he hadn’t been eating or his high temperature you would not know it.  He is such a little trooper and still always had a smile for you, at any time.  E-ma has also not been well all week and now has a very scary cough but it doesn’t seem to worry him at all-but boy it sounds terrible the poor little tyke. 

Considering I am only there for 4.5 hours it was a very busy week and before you know it Driver Steven has arrived to collect me.  Before London I was getting Steven to collect me at 4pm, but the babies are just waking up from their afternoon naps and getting fed around that time and I find that poor Steven would have to wait as I finished feeding as I just can’t dump the child when my lift arrives and it is frustrating that I can’t help out as I know I will be leaving in a few minutes.  So I have changed my time to 4.30pm and I will see how that goes and I may just extend it to 5pm if I need.  There is nothing worse leaving when you hear little babies cry for their milk-really. 

So it is great to be back.
It is wonderful to be back with the babies.
And it is also fantastic that I am feeling more like the team and I am really really happy that I am here for a full 3 months now (besides a week trip to the Masai Mara) as it will just help cement my commitment to The Nest, the babies and also the house mothers. 


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