Sunday, December 8, 2013

RACHAEL REMEMBERS MY NAME

Thursday 6th June and Friday 7th June 2013

When I arrived at The Nest on Thursday Rachael yells from the feeding mat ‘Jambo Bernie’!!  It was so sweet and I think it caught everyone off guard that she remembered my name and it was an amazing feeling and put an extra spring in my step and what a great way to start my day.  Rachael is the oldest child at The Nest and normally a kid that age would be sent down to Limuru Nest.  But she is 85% blind and The Nest just thinks that she wouldn’t get the attention needed with all of the older kids and to what she gets with us with the babies.  I understand that she is going to hospital next week for an operation, so I am not sure what is expected from that-but she is a very smart kid and picks up things so quickly that I hope that she gets some more eyesight back so she can see what a wonderful and loving environment she is currently living in. 

Some of the ladies are starting to get to know me more asking more questions.  I like it and don’t mind answering them as they get to know me more and I like that I am slowly getting accepted into their group.  When I arrive now at The Nest they all have big smiles and hellos and they make me feel really welcome which is great.  I will be sad when I have the 11 weeks off for my trip in September and it will also seem like I will have to start all over again when I come back in January, well maybe not from scratch, but it will feel like it I am sure.  They were asking how long I was here for-was I looking for a job-do I have brothers and sisters and when I said no I was an only child, they were shocked and said that I need to have babies to carry on my name as I am the only one left to do that at the moment.  They said I should have at least 4 babies and when I said I was too old for 4 babies it begged the question on how old I was and they started at 30-33-34-36 and then they jumped to 40-which isn’t far off the mark, but they were shocked and modified my baby making to 2 babies and I could adopt 2 babies and that seemed to keep them happy with that plan and since it was June already I needed to make sure I was pregnant by the end of the year to start the process off.  It was so sweet, even though we were making fun; there really was seriousness behind what they were saying. 

All the house mothers are using my name now.  It’s like they had a meeting to discuss things and my presence came up and they have all taken the time to learn my name.  Everyone was using it today and it fluffed my feathers a little more and its nice when people do use your name and I have always known that and tried to remember names and use them and it was nice to be on the receiving end of that this time and to know how it feels makes me more determined to remember and use everyone’s names that I meet and not just at The Nest.  Even Irene, the director always says hello and after her shock that I was living at Ruaka, making out it was some ghetto in Nairobi, we have a joke now that I survived another week at my place.  It also compelled her to tell me that some people tried to get into The Nest on Tuesday night, but luckily the night guards were alert and they scared them off which I said was good news and even though she agreed she said they would be likely to return, but with a gun this time and it could get ugly.  The Police turned up yesterday and they told Irene there had been a shooting at Runda, which is a mzungu suburb down the road from me and a security guard was shot dead on the week-end.  Yes it sounds like a dangerous place and needless to say I don’t head out of my place after dark-in my immediate area and if I am coming home late at night from somewhere, Steven always makes sure I am inside my gate before he drives off.  Yes you do need to take care here, that is not in doubt.

There were no mzungu’s except me on Thursday and it made a nice change.  Friday was a different story as there were 3 mzungu’s already there when I arrived who I hadn’t seen before and I was watching Matthew with one of them and it just made me think what the babies think of different people holding them all the time.  Not so much the house mothers, they know them by now, but mzungu’s.  There is a positive that they are getting used to different people at a young age but then the downfall of not having a stable routine of carers-I wonder if this could be detrimental to the child?  I guess if you think of what the alternatives are of the children living on the streets, not being taken care of at all or properly, this is a pretty good backup plan, even if it does mean that they may have a lot of mzungu’s pass through the doors each week.  At the end of the day the mzungu’s are passing on love and affection and that has to be a good thing all round.  I was hoping to see Cassie again this week as she flies home to Canada on Friday night but she didn’t turn up either day which was a shame but we are friends on Facebook, so we will keep in touch as I do think that she will return back here, with family here and her wanting to teach once she finishes university, I think Africa has captured another mzungu soul and who can blame her.   

As the weeks go on it is interesting to watch and observe that the House Mothers have their favourite babies.  There is an unspoken chain that when one of ‘their’ babies is crying they know who to hand the child to, assuming that they are not already with a baby.  That is one thing, they don’t neglect or dodge a child for their ‘favourite’ but if they are free and their baby starts to cry you can place money on who will go and fetch the child.  I don’t think it is a bad thing, as like any human being in the planet you are going to click with people more than some and I dint think that babies are that different, even at their small age.  Do I have a favourite?  I don’t think so but I really do like Lennie.  He is a tiny 10 month old baby who is always full of smiles and to me he looks like a tiny miniature wise old man.  He is now at that age where his legs are just kicking all the time and he is one of the many babies that only cry if they need something.  He is a little trooper and if I had to say I had a favourite he would be at the top of my list, not that I have a list……

Elsabe wants to take one of the baby’s home, just to give them a break and a getaway, and as it works out Ema is the only baby that hasn’t left the orphanage since arriving.  There are a few steps that need to be taken before you can be given permission to take a baby for the day.  One of the many conditions that must be met is that you need to have bonded with the baby for a while, the baby must be on the adoption list and of course The Nest has to also approve the set up.  Unfortunately Ema’s mother has not approved for him to be on the adoption list so he can’t be taken out of the orphanage-even if it is only for the day.  The ironic part to the story is that Ema is at The Nest because his mother abandoned him 4 months ago.  It seems a little rough for Ema, but I guess the laws are in place to protect the baby and the mother even if she hasn’t done the right thing.  Apparently the mother is receiving counselling in prison, so it could be a good thing and eventually the best result would be for the child to be reunited with his mother if she has received help and is ready and able to take her son back.  We will have to see-but as it stands at the moment he can’t be taken off site which is a shame for him.    

There are currently 2 babies that are on the adoption list and have been allocated approved parents.  I’m not sure what the time frame is from the approval of the courts, getting to see the child they have been allocated and then when they are actually allowed to take them home.  The ‘to be parents’ come to The Nest when time permits them to bond with their babies just waiting for all the red tape to be passed and all the paperwork to be completed.   So all the best to Angel and baby Bakita in the coming months.  Some good news this week was the departure of the twins, Samson and Faith.  They weren’t there on Thursday and when I enquired where they were I was told that they had been returned to family.  This was great news as it is what The Nest is primarily all about, but these babies are always returned the days I am not there so I don’t get to say goodbye, but then I think that it may just be a blessing in disguise as I think it maybe a little harder to say that goodbye.  It hit me then that you just never really know who will be in The Nest each week.  When I leave on Fridays you just never know who will be gone and also any new additions that may be picked up.  Speaking of which, I was there on Thursday when a new baby was bought to The Nest.  Her name is Mercy and she is 5 days old.  She is so tiny and just a small precious bundle of joy.  When she arrived, she was bathed, weighed, checked over and the clothed and a few of the smaller babies sleeping spots had to be moved around so that Mercy could have the newborn bed until she gets a little bigger.  It all seems like just another day in the office.  Babies leave back to biological families, some to new families and the possibilities of new countries and then the arrival of new members to The Nest.  It is the nature of the business and I need to keep that in mind and at the end of the day I am there to help support the house mothers and the babies and I will continue to do that as I LOVE what I am doing at the moment.     

I think the proudest moment for the week, besides all the house mothers now using my name, of and Rachael remembering my name was that I was shown how to fold the baby’s nappy.  I know it doesn’t sound like a big thing, but for me it was a massive step and a vote of confidence that I am now getting shown how to do something, in a small way it is a small step of training that was handed out and in all my time there I haven’t seen any other mzungu being shown how to do something that doesn’t involve feeding the babies that is.  I even out some clothes on some of the babies, which is also another vote of confidence for me and it just makes me feel that much more accepted that they are now taking the time to show me things, and that I am finally proving to them that I am here to stay.  I am also trying to learn some Swahili and also Kikuyu words, just to show them that I am trying and they seem to think it is pretty cool and a few comments have been made that my pronunciation is pretty spot on which they seem shocked about.  

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