NEW LOVE BLOSSOMS-MY AFRICAN PRINCE

“The greatest things in life come unexpectantly”

So how long is it considered ‘acceptable’ after finishing a relationship, a serious one at that, to finding some-one new and entering into a new relationship?  I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to that question but for me it has been nearly 7 months since that disastrous day that I knew I had to end my relationship with Zeme.  At the time I was absolutely devastated and I have well documented the breakup and my struggle to come through the other side, which I have done and I am very proud of where I am at today.  I am a stronger person, there were many lessons learned and the most important thing for me was the act of forgiveness.  I was a grudge bearer from way back and happy to report not so much anymore.  After my 22 months of travelling my whole perspective on life changed (for the better) and I learnt that it does nothing for your personal health and wellbeing to hold said grudges.  After my last trip to Ethiopia to see Zeme for the final time I walked away being the bigger person.  You don’t forgive people because you are weak.  You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes.  Zeme made a gargantuan mistake that ended what could have been a long lasting partnership-but it ended and I do have to repeat my most favourite quote which is “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”.    

I have never been and will never be one of those people who got so hurt in love that I have become a man hater, someone who gives up on the sanctity of marriage or say that love does not exist anymore.  Oh no I am still a romantic at heart, I still believe in love and I had hope that one day I would find that ‘special’ person that I would  spend the rest of my days with.  Oh I’m not letting one bad apple spoil this crate that is for sure.  At the time it always feels like there is just one person in this world to love and then you find somebody else and it just seems crazy that you were worried in the first place.   Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.  So, love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason.  If you get a chance, take it.  If it changes your life, let it.  Nobody said it’d be easy.  They just promised it would be worth it.

It is true that love knocks when you least expect it and I am happy to report that I have found some-one new in my life and I am on cloud nine as I process this amazing feeling, keeping things in check, and making sure I position myself so that I don’t make the same mistakes again and to protect myself and my poor little heart that has received massive work out the last 12 months-the good, the bad and yes even the ugly.  I met Dan a week after arriving into Nairobi through a friend (GG) but I had a lot of other things on my mind at the time.  We re-met again on a night out in March and it has been a process of baby steps, seeing each other, a lot of texting and phone calls in between.  I have taken it slowly and I realise now it is time to just let things fall into place and true to my usual form I am throwing myself in 100% and just going to see where it all takes me.  I can hear a lot of people slapping their foreheads and a collective sigh from all my worldwide friends-but I have said it once and I will say it again-life is too short.  Really, it is.  What do I have to lose and look at what I have to gain!  It is definitely worth the risk and I am grabbing it with both hands; my heart and my head.  It is now July, 4 months down the track and I have actually enjoyed keeping something to myself for all these months, but I’m ready to share my happy news with the whole world, which is a little unusual for me, but after the very public breakup of my last relationship and my embarrassment, I wanted to make sure that this was for real, and I am now happy to report I feel I am in that place.      

I have learnt that you need to keep people in your life that truly love you, motivate you, encourage you, inspire you, enhance you and make you happy and I believe I have found that person in Dan.  He is an amazing individual, a positive and outspoken guy that I feel I can talk to about anything and did I mention that he is amazing?  I have been blessed to have met such a remarkable person, with it all timed perfectly, I am in a good place, at the right time in my life, with all my things sorted; I am settled and loving where I am.  I am looking forward to the future and what it may hold no matter what.  The key to succeeding in a relationship is not only finding the right person, it’s also learning to love the person you found.  Sustaining love is not a passive or a spontaneous experience (maybe at the start) but you have to work on it day in and day out.  It takes time, effort and energy and the secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of every day.  This relationship feels different from my ‘other’ one.  For starters we are living in the same country and even the same city (shock horror) and that’s a good start. We have a lot in common and Dan’s English is flawless-yes this feels a whole lot different from last time and I am going to give it my all and I just know this ‘one’ will work out.  And you know what if it doesn’t…… I will put myself back out into that big bad world again and you never know just what each day holds. 

Our relationship will certainly be tested as Dan leaves for South Korea next week for a month with his dancing troop and then he is only back for 3 weeks before I head out on my West Africa trip for 10 weeks.  I am then back for only a week and then I am in Australia for 4 weeks.  It’s not ideal, but it isn’t like I haven’t done the long distance thing before, it will be tough but I know that it will all be certainly worth the wait when I get home to Kenya in December.  The whole point of booking the West Africa trip was to do it before I met somebody, as 10 weeks is a long time to be away, but as life is always so unpredictable-it really is Murphy’s Law that I met someone before the trip-totally unplanned.  Yes have your laugh life!  I’m okay with the way things have turned out and it really is nice to have that ‘special’ someone back in my life again.        

You’ve only got three choices in life:

Give up

Give in or… OR GIVE IT ALL YOU’VE GOT!!!  

And that is exactly what I intend to do. 

Let the new love blossom and bloom.