Saturday, March 2, 2013

SOCIAL BUTTERFLY EXTENDS HER WINGS


I believe the saying ‘when it rains it pours’ and Saturday was one of those days.  I had originally planned to meet a friend of a friend, San-and then attend a house warming party with her on Saturday.  She was going to be out of town till mid-week, but she was going to get back to me to let me know that it was okay to come along to the house warming party of people who I didn’t know.  I had read about a ‘coffee and conversation’ on the NES Facebook page coming up this Saturday at 4.30pm.  Well I was really excited about the prospect of getting out and meeting some people, and I hadn’t heard from San about the house warming party, so I accepted the request and felt like I was walking on a cloud that I was going to get out and have a drink and a chat with people that were in the same boat as me.  Well as it worked out, San called Friday afternoon and said it was all go for the house warming party and with a cringe I asked what time it was and when she replied back 7.30pm I sighed with relief that I would be able to go to both.  As it worked out, once San and I got a plan together, the NES get together, Sans place and the house warming were all in the same suburb (must be a sign) so it was all going to work out perfectly.  So I have waited for 4 weeks to be able to attend a meet up and then I have 2 on the same day.  So yes the saying is true ‘when it rains it pours’ but I just cannot explain how good it felt to have a plan and to get out.  I had no idea where any of the events were, I didn’t know anybody at either of the events but with all that aside I was looking forward today.  This is what I have been waiting for to get my social life started here in Nairobi………  

My usual taxi guy Steven had a previous engagement today, so he was unable to take me to Dagoretti/Junction Mall so I asked the Village Market guy that dropped me home yesterday if he was available and he agreed to pick me up today at 3.45pm.  The fear of using a new driver is that you never know how reliable they are-but I had no choice and I do need to have more than just Steven on my books as I am sure he will not always be there for me when I need a ride.  It’s a pretty big deal here getting to know drivers and have ‘your’ pool of drivers that you can trust, especially when you don’t have a car of your own and I now have around 4 drivers that I have used more than once (all from Village Market) but at least I have some backup’s if my number 1 guy is not available.  In saying that, besides yesterday this is the first time I am using ‘Don” (not using his real name) and with it being a long drive, I was just hoping he would be on time and that he was a nice guy, as the drive could be 45 minutes to an hour and it could be awkward if we didn’t get along.  The good news was that he was on time.  Excellent start and then it really just went down-hill from there, well for me.  Our conversation all started out well until he asked about my ‘husband’ and then I made the mistake of telling him I was single.  Within 10 minutes he was telling me we should get married and that we would have a good life together and his reasoning behind this was that I had the money and he had the car.  Well if that isn’t a match made in heaven then I don’t know what is!  I told him I will add him to the Masai guys from the market yesterday and let him know how he stacks up.  I try and put a fun spin on the whole thing, but I know if I gave them the nod they would be totally serious about the whole getting together thing.  Both yesterday and today, they make me laugh with their pitches for love, life and wife.  You can only take it in the good nature it is meant (hopefully) but I am well aware that if I gave them the nod they would take it and run as fast as they could with the offer.  I kept it all light, I told him I would add him to the list of the 3 Masai Market guys from yesterday, joke, joke, joke but I just knew that he was semi-serious and it was a situation that if I had of given him any sort of move that he would have jumped on any offer, of any kind with arms wide open.  I didn’t feel unsafe, but it was a little awkward, flattering and funny all at the same time.  I think it was then that it hit me that I will need to take more care with the people I tell that I am single, and this isn’t to blow my own horn, but apparently I seem to be a hot commodity here being white, single and 95% of Kenyans think that Mzungu’s are cashed up-I guess on paper I look pretty awesome.  Just ask me. 

Traffic was shocking, which in Nairobi is always a given, and should always be expected and then if it is anything better than that, it is a bonus.  We were only going, probably 25km and we had given ourselves 45 minutes which we used every minute and I got to Junction Mall right on time at 4.30pm, and after our initial ‘awkwardness’ of us getting married after 10 minutes of the car ride it was a pleasant drive.  I was dropped directly in front of the café at Junction Mall, which seems at first glance another pocket of Mzungu in Nairobi and I went to pay ‘Don’ for the ride.  The cheeky bugger asked if I could pay for the return fare in advance, to which I just smiled and said no, I will call you when I am ready to come home and then I will pay you for the return ride.  He asked me why I didn’t trust him, and I said I hardly know you, thanked him and then closed the door.  There are 2 scenarios I can see why he wanted me to pay in advance.  One: is he was going to do a runner-but as he works for the Village Market cabs I am sure I could have easily reported him so the second option was he wanted to guarantee my fare home and that I wasn’t going to use someone else.  Is that a classic suggestion of ‘stalker’?  Hmmm I don’t know.  He was super keen to come back and get me and I told him I had no idea on what time it would be, but all the drivers seem to be very flexible with the ‘after hour’ calls from clients and ‘Don’ was no different and said any time I was ready he would come back and to just give him some time to travel and even after all that I was glad that I had a ride home all teed up. 

It was time to put myself out there and test this theory that Nairobi has a great expat community.  I hope that they like me.  There is a saying that “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” and today was certainly going to push that boundary.  Head up, shoulders back, and a smile on the face-okay I am ready.  I was the first to arrive at Art Cafe and they didn’t have a table reserved for our group when Uchenna had made booking on Thursday, which when checked was in the book!  I was told to wait at the bar while they set up the chairs and tables, so I ordered a wine for 400KSH (4.70AUD) and just people watched.  There seems to be the same vibe as Village Market, but everything seems to be on a bigger scale.  The shopping centre is bigger, the cafes and outside restaurants are also bigger, but then there is a bigger expat population out this side than ‘my’ side.  The Junction is another ‘foreign’ pocket that you find in Nairobi-a lot of expats live in this area.  I would like to come back here for a little bit of a shop, as might be able to find some curtains and some lamps which seem hard to find on ‘my side’ of town.  Once the tables had been set up another 2 people had arrived and the great thing about being one of the first, you get your pick of seats.  So with my introductions starting I met Laura and Claire and we were able to govern the middle seats of a long set table and settle in for the afternoon.  Uchenna was next and the organiser and one of the administrators of the NES group, and then people filtered in for the next 30 minutes, all having been caught up in the shocking traffic.  As with all functions at a sit down venue it was difficult to try and chat to other people not in your immediate line of fire and I think if I didn’t have such great company sitting next to me, maybe I would have tried harder, but with the girls, Uchenna and an Italian guy across the table I had an amazing afternoon.  Everyone just ate when they wanted to, drinks were ordered when needed and after 3 wines, amazing carbonara pasta, some of Claire and Laura’s awesome choc cake, a steady flow of conversation and a lot of laughing it was like we had all been friends for a while and not strangers meeting for the first time.  Claire has lived here for 20+ years and Laura has come and gone a few times through her childhood to finally move here 12 months ago.  So it was great to speak to people who had been here for a long time, we talked about everything and if I had any questions I didn’t hesitate to ask.  There are some people you just connect with and I am happy to report that I think (hope) I have made some new friends today and that they feel the same.  It was mentioned a few times that I need to move to this side of town and for the social scene it makes sense-it had a great vibe over this side of town, a gazillion more expats and places to go, it has made me see I am a little isolated where I am, but for now I am happy, I LOVE my place, and I will be happy just to commute for now, as long as the taxi’s fall within my weekly budget I am happy to keep doing what I am doing and in the long run a visit once a week to this ‘side’ of town would still be cheaper than moving here and paying a higher rent, which they do compared to what I pay.  But hopefully I will be back ‘this side of town’ in the next week or so to catch up with my new pals.  This is networking in the true sense of the word.  Yes things are on the up.
 
I got a message from San at 7.15pm and wondered where the last 3 hours went.  See that is how much fun I was having, I didn’t even notice the time passing by.  It worked out well that people started to drift off at this time anyway, the bill was passed and paid for and when Uchenna asked where I was off to next and I told her, she said that she drives straight past there on her way home and that she could drop me off.  How sweet and I do have to say from the small amount of people I got to know today and meet, the expat community is definitely alive and well and this was just another wonderful gesture of an expat to an expat.  Uchenna is Nigerian and moved here 4 years ago with her young family.  How very brave.  I thought I was brave moving with just me, she has her mother and 4 kids.  Maybe inspiration is the word?  And I know she will be another person that I will keep in contact with.  So with goodbyes and promises to keep in touch I was now on my way to San’s place to pick her up and then we were going to catch a taxi to the house warming party.

Nairobi can be a difficult place to get around if you don’t know where you’re going.  There are street names, 60% of the time (if you’re lucky) but most of the time it is landmarks and asking locals that get you to your final destination.  There will be a major road that will get a bearing and then after that you are pretty reliant on directions given by the place you are going to and tonight was no different.  We had to get to the corner of Kingara and Mbuzi Roads where there was a car wash, turn left through some gates, travel a dirt road for 100m, turn left and then there would be black gates a further 100m and security into San’s apartments.  Sounds confusing but once Uchenna and I followed the directions to a tee; it was easy enough and with a hug and a massive thanks and promises to keep in touch I called San to let her know I was here.  Sans apartment complex is massive with 120 apartments compared to my 21……  So after phoning her she came down and got me and this was the first time that we were meeting!  We travelled back upstairs to her 3rd level apartment and it is really nice.  It is larger than mine and the finishes are a lot nicer than mine but then I am paying half the rent that she is paying, but at the end of the day it comes down to location and the suburbs that we are both living in.  Considering this was the first time we had met we just hit it off.  How lucky have I been today?  We both seem to be on the same page and there wasn’t an awkward moment between us which is just amazing.  We had a quick coffee and then called a taxi to take us to the house warming.  It could have been walking distance if it wasn’t 9.15pm at night so when the taxi finally found San’s apartment we were only in the car for about 7 minutes before getting to our destination.  San is still trying to find her ‘drivers’ that she can call direct, so with John’s number now in her phone we made our way to the house warming party and another round of new faces to meet.

These apartments were another step up from San’s apartment, which meant it was 3 steps above mine.  They were amazing and beautifully appointed, brand new and massive.  In saying that it all comes with a hefty price tag keeping in mind there are 3 of them living in a 3 bedroom apartment, oh with a servants quarters of course) and the cost of their apartment a month (fully furnished) is 170,000 a month.  San is paying 53,000 a month (unfurnished) and then I come in third paying 25,000 a month (unfurnished) but it is true, especially here in Kenya, you get what you pay for and for 170,000 a month the ladies were living in a very nice place indeed.  There were probably 20 people already there when we arrived and I just got a group introduction, which was fine, as San hadn’t met some of the people either and most of the people here were newbies to Nairobi and were there with Red Cross and other organisations all doing different jobs.  We got a tour of their apartment and the bedrooms were massive!  The biggest bedroom would have been as big as my bedroom and lounge combined and they were all ensuited and there that also includes the servants’ quarters, with a massive kitchen, a massive laundry and a great balcony on the 4th floor.  There is certainly a lot of bang for their schilling and when you divide that by three people it makes it look more reasonable, but the 55,000KSH would still be well out of my range when I am paying 25,000KSH a month but then I am not receiving a subsidy from an organisation and to be honest I am still happy where I am.  It is impractical from a social point of view, but to me I am happy to pay 50AUD for a taxi once a week to do the social thing and stay where I am.

I had brought 2 bottles of white wine with me, the theory was to drink one and provide one as a house warming gift, but as San and I were both drinking we thought it was best we kept both bottles and just revelled in the thought that counted and had plans of drinking both of them ourselves.  As the bottles had been in my bag all afternoon they were instantly drinkable with a couple of ice cubes added.  Driver ‘Don’ rang at 10pm to check how I was going; we had only been here for around 45 minutes!  I did tell him it would probably be around 11-12 that I would call so it was a little disconcerting when he said he was on his way back now.  I told him I wasn’t ready yet and he said that’s fine he will just wait this side of town until I was ready and he also asked if I was drunk-hmmmm I hope there isn’t going to be a stray hand on my leg on the drive home as I sit in the front with all my drivers-none of this chauffer business for me, he is just lucky I am not easily intimidated as his actions and talk could turn a jumpy lady into a nervous wreck.  People thought San and I had been friends for a long time and not have just met for the first time tonight!  I got some email addresses and phone numbers of the people who I spoke with and I hope to be able to catch up with them after all the election things die down.  The Red Cross have an imposed lockdown for all their volunteers starting Friday for a whole week-so not much will happen in the coming weeks.  This is the information I miss out on and will just have to keep my eye on the Australian Embassy web site and if something massive happens I’ll get San to send me a text message.  The great thing now is I have around 10 numbers now after today, so that if I got stuck or needed to ask someone something, besides GG, I wouldn’t hesitate to call one of them to ask them.  That’s cool huh!!!!  Again, networking at its best.  So the next 3 hours was spent meeting and talking to people and again after the initial awkwardness of meeting people for the first time the time just flew by.  I couldn’t believe it when I looked at my watch as people started to leave that it was midnight!  As it turned out there was a lady at the party that lived just down the road from Village Market and Pam suggested I could ask her for a lift home but as I now knew Steve was in the area waiting for me, I couldn’t do that to him as I wanted to do the right thing and I passed on the free lift and called Steve at midnight to tell him I was ready to go home. 

San and I decided to leave at 12.30am with a couple that were leaving.  I asked if they could just drop me down the road to Junction Mall to meet up with Driver Don and San got a ride home with them.  Don wasn’t there when I got dropped off, but the pub was still pumping and there were still a lot of cars in the car park and a lot of security around, so I felt comfortable enough to wait the 10 minutes in the carpark till Don arrived.  I have to say everything had just worked out perfect today for me and after 3 glasses of wine at the NES function and San and I sharing a bottle of wine I was on a buzz, not too drunk, much to Dons disgust when he asked me again if I was drunk on the way home-he is funny.  I still didn’t feel unsafe; he is just making it all weird with his talk so as long as it is just that, talk, then we will get along just fine.  On the way home Don offered that if I ever get stuck with food or anything to text him what I need and he will go shopping for me and deliver it to me at home **warning bells or just being nice** and I would only ever take up that offer if I was on deaths door and desperate and even though I am sure he is offering for totally different means, it is nice that I can do it if I need**stalker**.  There was NO traffic on the roads and we made it home in record time.  It is a little off putting to see the city so naked of cars as we drove through and literally with no traffic and the main road to my place was also deserted you would think that maybe they could somehow split the city into night shift work to clear some traffic during the day and have a city that works 24 hours to help alleviate some of the traffic conditions.  Now there is a pretty smart idea-is that the wine talking?  I don’t know but doesn’t that sound like a great idea?  Either way this is the time to move around the city that is for sure. 

So this social butterfly has extended her wings and it is the BEST feeling in the world.
I was lucky to meet a great bunch of people and you know what even if they were all duds (they weren’t) but if they were I would still feel like a bazillion dollars as I had got out, met strangers, travelled to places I hadn’t been before and I got OUT!  BUT I was blessed with nice people and I know that I will see them again in the coming weeks.  Thank-you, to all, for making this a great day.  I have said it before, it may seem small and trivial to some, but these small things in a new environment mean a lot more than words can ever express. 

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