IM LOVING LIFE

I can’t tell you just how great it feels to have had such a successful trip to Ethiopia, retrieving all my things, speaking with Zeme and getting closure.  Really, when I have had a spare minute since the break-up last October, I would stew and come up with all these scenarios if Zeme didn’t come to the party and give all my stuff back and I would stress myself out just thinking about it.  So to have it all finally done and dusted is a shift for me, for my thinking and I am thankful that I can now have good memories of our time together rather than thinking of negative things and having had it all finish on a bad note. 

So after getting back home this morning at 3am-I had Driver Steven pick me up at 3pm to attend a NES Coffee and Conversation get together.  NES is a Facebook group that was started a few years ago by an expat who was lonely and figured that there must have been other people in the same boat as her and now there are nearly 3,000 expats living in Nairobi that are members of the group.  Besides discussing accommodation, services and experiences they organise coffee ‘dates’ for people to come along to and meet like-minded people and I think it is this group that saved my ‘social’ life here in Kenya.  The first one for me was so successful that nothing was going to stop me attending this one.  This was the second C&C for the year and also the second one that I had attended and it was really great to see some of the same faces that I met at the first one (Laura and Uchenna) and to also make some new friends.  It can be difficult to mix with people when we are all seated at a long table and it was nice that some people made the effort to move around so you got to see more than your immediate area.  It can be a double crossed sword, as I was sitting next to people I already knew, so I wasn’t getting around to meeting new people BUT in saying that it is nice to speak to people you did KNOW, to catch up.  These get togethers are a great way to talk to people about things that you have encountered, tell them what has been done or said and walk it/talk it through with people that have either been there and done it or know of someone that has been through the same thing.  It is invaluable these catch up and it is worth every schilling I pay in taxis to go there and back each time. 

All the people that I have met so far have really incredible jobs and it is interesting to hear their issues (or good things) they encounter with their jobs dealing with Kenyans and perceptions of what they think of Mzungu’s.  After hearing some of their stories I think I really am just too nice to people and I am going to have to toughen up a little and get with the programme.  It is a shame to stereo type a nation, but in a country like Kenya, can you really have a level field friendship with a Kenyan without them seeing you as a rich mzungu and thinking that they are somehow entitled to ride the coat tales’ of a foreigner if given the opportunity.  I consider all people equal-this is how God created us but for me past history rears its ugly head and I just don’t think I realized about the difference in living standards and perceptions of me to Kenyans and I guess a little naively vice a versa.  Some people are here on contracts for 6-12 months and there are a handful of people, like me, that have plans of staying here permanently.  After talking to people most are here in a humanitarian level and they are all doing such good things here.

I received phone calls from Dan and GG in the afternoon welcoming me back to Kenya and plans to see each other during the week and then again on Saturday where we are going to watch Dan dance (which is his professional job) at one of the main resorts here in Kenya.  I then got a text message from Norbert welcoming me back and I will also see him on Saturday and a message from Minalu making sure that I had made it home safe and sound.  I felt like a million bucks that all these people were that nice to take the time to contact me and I feel like I am well and truly finding and making some great friendships here in Nairobi.

The get together started at 4.30pm and people started to peel off around 7.30pm and I rang Driver Steven to push my pickup time back to 10pm and before we knew it I was getting a message that he was here to pick me up.  There were just about 6 of us left at 10pm and not having eaten and sharing a bottle of white with one of my ‘new’ friends Katie and having 2 wines previous to that, I think it was a timely pickup time as we probably would have kept drinking and been sorrier in the morning nursing a massive hangover.  Part of the problem was that I didn’t eat-you would think I would have learnt my lesson a few days ago after not eating on my first night in Addis-oh no-that would be too grown up.  After saying goodbye to the others Katie and I made a date to catch up again on Monday for dinner and with a hug and a wave I piled into Steven’s car for the 30 minute drive home.  He must think I am a piss head and I don’t think I stopped smiling the whole way home.  I think people sometimes underestimate the power of finding new friendships and cultivating them, especially when you leave such good ones back in your original country.  Everyone must miss a friend or two when they choose to live in a different country and that is what makes these catch ups, meet ups, dates-whatever you want to call them, it is just an amazing service that people take the time to organise and also for the people that actually turn up to and I would just like to thank NES (Nairobi Expat Social) for what they do-it is an unpaid gig and done from the goodness of their hearts and after talking to Uchenna, she said as long as you make one friend from each gathering then her job has been accomplished.  The group, even from when I joined in January has grown by over 500 people in the last 2 months……

I have to say that moving to a new country and having to start from scratch is a very soul searching and rewarding experience.  I always knew I could do it-I knew it would take time.  I wasn’t worried so much about the living arrangements or the day to day way of life, I always knew that would work out.  For me the worry was not meeting people, not making friends and being in a very lonely place, which I was for the first month of my arrival.  But I knew if I hung in there, followed up every invitation, joined groups and referrals that I would finally find some friends and I have.  I have been extremely lucky but it has given me some insight into a world where some people aren’t as outgoing as me, how do they meet people?  I know how it feels to wish I had people to talk with, how hard it is to leave good friends at home and not everybody is an extrovert.  This doesn’t only apply to expats living overseas-there must be people all over the world that would want friends and are too shy, to scared, to introvert to go out and actively seek new friendships.  So I urge you all-if you get the chance to befriend some-one, even if it is to say hello-you just never know what a massive difference that could make to their day or their week.  I have been there and that small act of kindness can have such a major impact to some-one and then hopefully they will pay it forward and it is a small step to make this world a better, friendlier place.  It sounds so philosophical-but until you are in that position it really is a revelation-try it and make some-ones day.    

So when I got home I just had to share on Facebook exactly how I was feeling and I quote:

“what an incredible way to finish off a day after arriving from an amazing trip in Ethiopia to catching up with old new friends and making new new friends over a few glasses of wine- I'm loving my life and feel so blessed xxoo”

Written with a belt load of wine-I still feel the same the next day!   

I’m loving my life right now and I am very thankful for all my friends, new and old, for their support, their love and as always their messages.  Bad things to happen to people, but it is how you pick yourself up and how you move on that defines you and you need to live life like there is no tomorrows-I, better than anybody know that, and I don’t regret a thing.